i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
