I'm really into asian looking animals
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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