There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
