Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize
