This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Randomize
