I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
