Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
