You made me cry and you don't even care
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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