She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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