I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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