I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
