She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
