Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
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