Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
