in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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