my mouth tastes like poor choices
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
