Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
