we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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