There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
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