Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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