Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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