I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
