I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
