U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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