well I can't set my house on fire every night
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Randomize
