I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
