All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
