Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
