So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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