Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
