I hate your face
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
