remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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