The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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