normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
