I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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