Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
How external is "for external use only"?
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
