She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
