I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
