I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
