Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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