So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
