and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
