I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
