i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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