So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
