sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
