margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Randomize
