dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
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