I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I am naked and annoyed.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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