What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
